Emotions are that part of our life which makes our life colorful and interesting. Imagine a life without any emotions. There is nothing to excite us nor any events which makes us happy. No pain no distress. It would be very difficult to relate with such life.
Emotions are the colors of our life. Dealing with emotions is a tough work. Effectiveness and beauty of our life depends upon how we deal with our own emotions and our near and dear ones emotions. As a parent it is a biggest challenge for us to deal with our child’s difficult emotions. Our dealing will teach the child how they are expected to deal with their own emotions.
Here are some useful tips for dealing with their difficult emotions.
ACCEPT THE FEELINGS.
If your child is angry or distressed for some incident and that thing is very trivial in your view, never say that ‘it is nothing” “no need to cry over such a little thing”
Keep it in your mind that you are two separate people, capable of having two different sets of feelings. Neither of you is right or wrong.
Denial of feelings can confuse and enrage the kid. It teaches them to ignore their and other’s feelings – not a good lesson to learn.
Instead of denial, lecturing or advising your child
Acknowledge their feelings with a word ….”Oh” “I see” or with a nod.
Tell them that you can understand what they are going through .ask them what their wishes about how the things should be?
Acknowledging your child’s emotions, does not mean that you are allowing your child to behave badly e.g. if he is throwing things or shouting or name calling then you need to tell her that “I understand that you are hurt, frustrated or angry…… but it does not mean that you do this.”
Firmly tell your child that your behavior (name behavior i.e. throwing things, name calling) is unacceptable.
Let the child engage with you in a healthy conversation.
DISTRACT YOUR CHILD
Children have a pretty short attention span. So they are easy to divert.
When your child is making fuss over something which you thing is not healthy or appropriate for your child try quickly switching gears and enthusiastically saying something like “let’s go outside and play” “let’s call Nadeem and ask her to come at our home”
Engage your child in some other interesting activity.
For this to prove effective you need to awaken your inner actor and be an entertainer.
IGNORE THE KIDS TANTRUM
Keep it in your mind that reinforce only those behaviors which you wants to occur again and again. Your attention even the negative one is the great reinforce of your child’s behavior.
“Sometimes a kid just need to get his anger out, so let him” says Linda Pearson, a nurse practitioner (just make sure there is nothing in tantrum’s way that could hurt him)
Once he gets out of his that phase, then you can effectively talk with your child.
This is the really biggest challenge for a parent.
Speak calmly-when your child is shouting seems a bit difficult but it conveys two important lessons to your kid
- First that you’re not influenced by his aggressive mood.so you show him how to self-control.
- Secondly you are providing a model of good communicator .your child will definitely learn from it.
Every time your child shouts, remind her in a calm way that this is not a nice way to talk, or ask something. You are expected to speak in a gentle and polite tone. Then stop your conversation. Do not argue at that time because when he is emotional it means that his right brain is overriding the frontal cortex of the brain, the area that makes decisions and judgments. That’s why reasoning does not help. There is nothing to do in the moment that will make things better. Just tell your child that we will talk when you will be calm and in a better condition to listen and will talk in a nice way.
Most of our relationship issues can be solved with better communication skills. Improve the quality of communication with your child in routine life. Give answers of his questions, provide guidance, listen carefully when he tell you something, try to understand what he is frustrated about, make sincere efforts to help him out. When your child feels understood, there will be no need to throw tantrums.
Tell him beforehand that there will be some times when you will not be able to fulfill his demands for reasons which can be explained or cannot be explained .he as a kid just have to accept it.
You can teach your child how to handle frustrations and stress in life.
– Copyrights (c) Psychologist Aasia Mujtaba